I've not done nearly as well the last few days as I had intentions to do. However, my weight still went down a bit. I think it's been because I've been sick all week and being sick unmotivates me like it does everyone, so I care way less what I eat or how messy my house looks at the moment.
Keep thinking of me on m journey! I'll do better so you can all be proud and post thousands of comments!
Ta ta for now!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
To School or Not to School...How Crazy can I be??
My Crazy Life
a one scene play by Stacey....
Eyes wide, sweat pouring off my forehead, I look at the calendar and gasp for air...could it be? Could school really only be starting less than four weeks away?? I dash to the computer panicked by the mere thought of it. The school website confirms it!!! What am I to do? Loading and unloading and transporting all over again all those daycare kids and my own, my head spins. Then I sigh. I am ok with my craziness, but the only question that lingers is how will I get them there? By boat? No, I lent mine to Beyonce. By plane? No don't have that either, it's flying around the world right now. By Suburban? No, mine only seats 7 and I will have 10-11 kids. Aaaahhhhhhh! The panic sets in again as a wave of stress washes over me. (end scene).
This is my current state of mind. I know a bit dramatic but when you think of the predicament I am in, not so over the top. I truly am panicked by the fact that school starts exactly 4 weeks from this past Monday. I have 5 kids to take to and from school three times a day. I have seven spots in my Suburban, IF I strap Owen and Raymond together in the front seat illegally like last year. However, I will have 10-11 or 12 kids to load and unload everyday. I've been trying to find a 13-15 passenger van, but we can't get a loan because our credit is in the crapper from all the debt we racked up in college and just post college. We obviously don't have the cash to pay out of pocket, so I am literally between a rock and a hard place. (sidenote - Stacey's Daycare accepts all cash donations to: Help a poor Mom Out at Omaha, NE). Ahem, anyways. :)
When I started this blog it was to discuss my weight loss (or lack there of but hopefully the first one) AND my life in general that had to do with me. So this post just happens to primarily be about my constant state of mind as of late. I apologize if you were hoping to hear about the HORRIBLE Taco Johns taco I ate last night after we went swimming. :(
I will be on the run starting Aug. 16 when school starts, I have to take kids to school, pick up preschoolers, then pick up Elementary kids 5 days a week, I have a household to run, a daycare to run, 4 children of my own, a husband, two dogs, a rat, a yard that is desperate for some weeding and trimming attention, I volunteered to help teach preschool midweek at church on Wednesdays from time to time, and now I'm considering taking one online class at the community college here in town. Hello. My name is Crazy, with a capital C. The only reason that I am considering this is because I am too nervous to call the people that pay for my scholarship that just recently sent me a check for $150 in back pay (long story) and want me to resign my contract with them, I just deposited. I am afraid if I say I'm not taking a class, they will want me to pay it back. They might not, but that's just the type of person I am. A person that accepts free money and asks questions later - a.k.a. a poor person.
So call me crazy, call me whatever you want, but while you are making all these calls, can you please call the car loan people to give me a loan on a big van so I can at least relieve one major stress in my life??
-I sigh. I walk away from the computer and go to the kitchen cabinets to look at all the wonderful food and yummy snacks......that I can't eat. Oh bummer.
The End.
a one scene play by Stacey....
Eyes wide, sweat pouring off my forehead, I look at the calendar and gasp for air...could it be? Could school really only be starting less than four weeks away?? I dash to the computer panicked by the mere thought of it. The school website confirms it!!! What am I to do? Loading and unloading and transporting all over again all those daycare kids and my own, my head spins. Then I sigh. I am ok with my craziness, but the only question that lingers is how will I get them there? By boat? No, I lent mine to Beyonce. By plane? No don't have that either, it's flying around the world right now. By Suburban? No, mine only seats 7 and I will have 10-11 kids. Aaaahhhhhhh! The panic sets in again as a wave of stress washes over me. (end scene).
This is my current state of mind. I know a bit dramatic but when you think of the predicament I am in, not so over the top. I truly am panicked by the fact that school starts exactly 4 weeks from this past Monday. I have 5 kids to take to and from school three times a day. I have seven spots in my Suburban, IF I strap Owen and Raymond together in the front seat illegally like last year. However, I will have 10-11 or 12 kids to load and unload everyday. I've been trying to find a 13-15 passenger van, but we can't get a loan because our credit is in the crapper from all the debt we racked up in college and just post college. We obviously don't have the cash to pay out of pocket, so I am literally between a rock and a hard place. (sidenote - Stacey's Daycare accepts all cash donations to: Help a poor Mom Out at Omaha, NE). Ahem, anyways. :)
When I started this blog it was to discuss my weight loss (or lack there of but hopefully the first one) AND my life in general that had to do with me. So this post just happens to primarily be about my constant state of mind as of late. I apologize if you were hoping to hear about the HORRIBLE Taco Johns taco I ate last night after we went swimming. :(
I will be on the run starting Aug. 16 when school starts, I have to take kids to school, pick up preschoolers, then pick up Elementary kids 5 days a week, I have a household to run, a daycare to run, 4 children of my own, a husband, two dogs, a rat, a yard that is desperate for some weeding and trimming attention, I volunteered to help teach preschool midweek at church on Wednesdays from time to time, and now I'm considering taking one online class at the community college here in town. Hello. My name is Crazy, with a capital C. The only reason that I am considering this is because I am too nervous to call the people that pay for my scholarship that just recently sent me a check for $150 in back pay (long story) and want me to resign my contract with them, I just deposited. I am afraid if I say I'm not taking a class, they will want me to pay it back. They might not, but that's just the type of person I am. A person that accepts free money and asks questions later - a.k.a. a poor person.
So call me crazy, call me whatever you want, but while you are making all these calls, can you please call the car loan people to give me a loan on a big van so I can at least relieve one major stress in my life??
-I sigh. I walk away from the computer and go to the kitchen cabinets to look at all the wonderful food and yummy snacks......that I can't eat. Oh bummer.
The End.
Monday, July 12, 2010
2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back...
Well if you read the title you probably guessed that I had a few slip ups this last weekend, but as long as I'm still two forward and only one back then I am doing better than not!
I did really well all through Friday until dinner. Tony's brother and wife and son came to town so we ordered pizza. I ate less than I normally would (old me = 4-5 pieces, new me = 2 1/2 pieces). It was veggies and hamburger on it I think. But I can justify it because Saturday we spent the day walking the Zoo, so I pretty much walked a good portion of that off. Then I was good Sat. and Sun. until Sun. night when I didn't feel good and neither did Tony, so we got Chinese take out. I can honestly but grudingly admit that I ate my whole meal and then some, but my proud point with the whole Chinese thing is that today I would normally have eaten all of the leftovers myself - BUT I used it for daycare and they had a Chinese buffet of sorts. So there! :)
I'm not being too hard on myself for a few reasons. First being that I lost a total of 5 pounds already from Tuesday until Sunday. So that's awesome for me!! Just 70 more to go!! But for number two, I keep telling myself not to get depressed about a slip up here and there because I am new to this whole eating less than I normally do thing. It really does take training! You wouldn't believe how exhausting it can be sometimes when I think I need a snack (when I don't) and to keep walking into the kitchen and rummaging through the cabinets and fridge, just to tell myself that I don't need anything and walk out. That alone should earn me a few walking exercise points right??
Which brings me to my next topic. Exercise. I wish I could be a fly on someones wall to see when and how they exercise on a daily basis. I don't get it. I don't understand how ANYONE, especially with kids, can find the time in their day to work out. It stresses me out actually that I still cannot find a time slot in my day to work out. You might ask why not work out instead of blog. Well the simple answer to that is because it's easier to get on the computer during nap time than it is to do a workout video when 4-6 kids are quietly watching a movie during nap time. I am still working on this part, but for now trying to keep tackling the eating 1/2 my portion size is enough to worry about. I have to master that part first.
So please keep cheering me on. I need some support! I need people to tell me NOT to eat snacks and NOT to give in to yummy temptations!
Right now I am feeling the urge to eat too because I am a bored eater and a stress eater and my constant stress right now is trying to figure out how I am going to get all the kids to and from school this next year. I have too many kids to fit in my Suburban and I need a solution before Aug. 16.
Alright I better go throw together a small meatloaf for dinner tonight. I have to take Owen and Raymond to their first swimming lessons at 6:20! I'm very excited for them.
I did really well all through Friday until dinner. Tony's brother and wife and son came to town so we ordered pizza. I ate less than I normally would (old me = 4-5 pieces, new me = 2 1/2 pieces). It was veggies and hamburger on it I think. But I can justify it because Saturday we spent the day walking the Zoo, so I pretty much walked a good portion of that off. Then I was good Sat. and Sun. until Sun. night when I didn't feel good and neither did Tony, so we got Chinese take out. I can honestly but grudingly admit that I ate my whole meal and then some, but my proud point with the whole Chinese thing is that today I would normally have eaten all of the leftovers myself - BUT I used it for daycare and they had a Chinese buffet of sorts. So there! :)
I'm not being too hard on myself for a few reasons. First being that I lost a total of 5 pounds already from Tuesday until Sunday. So that's awesome for me!! Just 70 more to go!! But for number two, I keep telling myself not to get depressed about a slip up here and there because I am new to this whole eating less than I normally do thing. It really does take training! You wouldn't believe how exhausting it can be sometimes when I think I need a snack (when I don't) and to keep walking into the kitchen and rummaging through the cabinets and fridge, just to tell myself that I don't need anything and walk out. That alone should earn me a few walking exercise points right??
Which brings me to my next topic. Exercise. I wish I could be a fly on someones wall to see when and how they exercise on a daily basis. I don't get it. I don't understand how ANYONE, especially with kids, can find the time in their day to work out. It stresses me out actually that I still cannot find a time slot in my day to work out. You might ask why not work out instead of blog. Well the simple answer to that is because it's easier to get on the computer during nap time than it is to do a workout video when 4-6 kids are quietly watching a movie during nap time. I am still working on this part, but for now trying to keep tackling the eating 1/2 my portion size is enough to worry about. I have to master that part first.
So please keep cheering me on. I need some support! I need people to tell me NOT to eat snacks and NOT to give in to yummy temptations!
Right now I am feeling the urge to eat too because I am a bored eater and a stress eater and my constant stress right now is trying to figure out how I am going to get all the kids to and from school this next year. I have too many kids to fit in my Suburban and I need a solution before Aug. 16.
Alright I better go throw together a small meatloaf for dinner tonight. I have to take Owen and Raymond to their first swimming lessons at 6:20! I'm very excited for them.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Fat and Sunburned
I know the title is not very nice about myself, but I've learned that the truth hurts. Just like seeing pictures of myself from this weekend at my parents lake house with the kids!! WOW! I knew that I am overweight but for real? How did I get this way?? I understand how I have stayed this way...but how did I get THIS way?
So I hadn't posted in a few days because I was first getting ready for my trip to MO with just me and the kids and then I was in MO until late last night when we finally made it home. I had NO intentions of starting my diet until after getting back from vacation because I knew it would be a horrible trip if I was just starting a new health craze, so instead I went through an eating frenzy. I know, totally unhealthy and gross, but my mom made enough food to feed us all for a week, and no one rarely cooks different and yummy foods for me, so I took advantage. I ate, then ate some more, then even when my stomach was full and stretched to the max I ate some more. I drank a little wine and enjoyed myself. Glutenous. Terrible, I know. However I looked at pictures of me with the kids and almost cried at myself. I am my own worst enemy. I so want to crop myself out of the pictures with the kids, but it's pictures of me helping the boys learn how to fish and cook hot dogs over a fire and put Tess in the pool for the first time. So they are all memorable moments, so it'd be sad for me to not be there. So I will stay in the pictures and they will be a reminder that I cannot look this way again.
I got back home last night and wrote in my food journal my goals for today which were very simple....eat less, skip the junk, try and keep track of my weight watchers points and drink less caffeine free diet coke (which is a staple in my current diet). So far so good. I'm proud of myself today. I thought because I ate so much this weekend that I would be hungrier today, but I think the pictures of me are branded onto my brain and I am embarrassed at how I look.
Today I have enjoyed foods such as a small slice of home made banana bread for breakfast and a fat free blueberry yogurt. For lunch I had a turkey sandwich on whole wheat flat bread with some veggies and that's it for the day so far. If any of you have any really good low fat recipes for meals for the family that even Tony would eat I'd love to try them!!
Beyond the fat part and the glutenous weekend, I had a fabulous time! We spent a great deal of time on my dad's boat, fishing, or riding around, sipping wine, cooking hotdogs over the fire, making smores with the kids, watching fireworks. I missed Tony, but still had a great time. I felt good about being able to do a trip with four kiddos too. That was a super ego boost. The kids had a ton of fun too. None of us got sunburned until our last day there when we just jumped on the boat for about an hour. I lathered up the kids in sunscreen and my arms and some of my face but missed my chest and neck and now have a HUGE red sunburn there. Oh well. It's evidence that I had fun in the sun!
So start your cheering. I need all the encouragement I can get! Today is the official start of my diet and I NEED to do well. I WANT to do well and I want to be a skinnier, healthier me.
So I hadn't posted in a few days because I was first getting ready for my trip to MO with just me and the kids and then I was in MO until late last night when we finally made it home. I had NO intentions of starting my diet until after getting back from vacation because I knew it would be a horrible trip if I was just starting a new health craze, so instead I went through an eating frenzy. I know, totally unhealthy and gross, but my mom made enough food to feed us all for a week, and no one rarely cooks different and yummy foods for me, so I took advantage. I ate, then ate some more, then even when my stomach was full and stretched to the max I ate some more. I drank a little wine and enjoyed myself. Glutenous. Terrible, I know. However I looked at pictures of me with the kids and almost cried at myself. I am my own worst enemy. I so want to crop myself out of the pictures with the kids, but it's pictures of me helping the boys learn how to fish and cook hot dogs over a fire and put Tess in the pool for the first time. So they are all memorable moments, so it'd be sad for me to not be there. So I will stay in the pictures and they will be a reminder that I cannot look this way again.
I got back home last night and wrote in my food journal my goals for today which were very simple....eat less, skip the junk, try and keep track of my weight watchers points and drink less caffeine free diet coke (which is a staple in my current diet). So far so good. I'm proud of myself today. I thought because I ate so much this weekend that I would be hungrier today, but I think the pictures of me are branded onto my brain and I am embarrassed at how I look.
Today I have enjoyed foods such as a small slice of home made banana bread for breakfast and a fat free blueberry yogurt. For lunch I had a turkey sandwich on whole wheat flat bread with some veggies and that's it for the day so far. If any of you have any really good low fat recipes for meals for the family that even Tony would eat I'd love to try them!!
So start your cheering. I need all the encouragement I can get! Today is the official start of my diet and I NEED to do well. I WANT to do well and I want to be a skinnier, healthier me.
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