So I have been awfully busy lately so that is why I have not posted any new updates. I've been exhausted and mentally drained from all that I have been doing to get kids ready for school and the sheer stress of all that scheduling. In fact I have had the HARDEST time getting up in the mornings and have no energy all day.
My weight loss progress has been hindered by all the stress and busy stuff I've been doing. I have NO good excuse other than I am a failure. Every time I try something new to lose weight and get healthy, it is a flop. I thought for sure this would be a great way to have others keep me in line and help support me, but I don't think that there are any people out there reading this. I think I am once again writing to myself. What a very lonely thought. :(
Probably the only people who are reading this are my sisters and my mom and maybe my sister-in-law who was inspired by my blog at first, but has probably since given up on me as well. I think that lonely feeling that I get when I think about nobody caring enough to read my blog is the same lonely feeling I feel day in and day out with never getting to communicate with people and be a member of the social world because I am cooped up in my house with a group of kids all day. It is the same lonely feeling when I think of my one and only friend Sheila that moved to Illinois this May and now I feel like I am isolated even more. It's the same lonely feeling that I feel when I realize that I have no friends, not one! And it's this same lonely feeling that makes me eat and makes me feel bad about myself and makes me gain weight.
I told you from the beginning this blog was going to be honest - so there you have it. I am a miserable lonely person that fears I will die and have no one besides a few family members to miss me. I have acquaintances but when it comes down to inviting people to do things I am NEVER on the invite list...never have been. I don't know what it is about me that people like and can be my friend when we have to be together for school or something, but not enough to ever include me in anything. It makes me sad. I feel the same way now as I did in High school when My Best Friends' Wedding came to the theaters. I wanted to see it so badly because Julia Roberts is one of my favorite actresses and I called everyone I knew to see if I could find a friend to join me and no one said yes. I felt so bad after that that I cried for awhile until my mom grabbed her purse and dropped what she was doing to go see a movie with her sad and lonely daughter. What a nice mom. I think this will happen again soon. A decade or so later, I want to see yet another Julia Roberts movie, Eat, Pray, Love, and I am saddened by the thought that once again I have no one to see it with, only this time my mom lives 6 1/2 hours away and can't really come with me, though I know she would if she could.
So there you have it. I'm a clown (Kelly you know what I mean) smiling on the outside, but sad on the inside. (I promise I'm NOT depressed and don't need an intervention, but when I think about my lack of friends and lack of life outside my house, it makes me sad). I just want friends. I think that if I had friends and a life outside my house I wouldn't weigh so much. Just a thought.
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| See how handsome my 6 year old big First grader is? |
So sorry for such a depressing post! Man, what a mood killer! You probably all weigh as much as me now after reading my post cause I drove you to your own depressions causing you to eat in pity for me!! :) So there is yet another root to my eating problems. Any suggestions for trimming this weed?
