So I realize that I have been MIA once again. As you can all imagine life with 4 kids and running to and from school and running my daycare leaves very little time for typing on my blog! But here it is. I feel inspired tonight so I want to share.
It has been over a month now since I last talked to you. Let me update you on my soda diaries....I am still drinking the occasional soda but have limited it to once or twice a week rather than five a day. So I am still very proud of myself. I don't feel like I have failed at this because I've cut it down by more than half the amount and I never said I couldn't have it every once in awhile like a treat. Some people have ice cream and I have an occasional caffeine free diet coke.
I have NOT been working on training for a marathon like I had said at one point but would still like to do that. A friend of mine is doing the Couch to 5k program and I want to try it too, but feel I need to be in just a bit better shape because I have been sedentary for many many years. So first I thought I'd try my workout videos. Which leads me to the fact that I have done nothing in the last month in way of losing weight. Besides drinking less soda, I have not eaten better or worked out even once. Until now....
This week has been a transition week for me. I realized that I'm 30! Yes it's true I am. Close your mouth. As shocking as that is, it brought a realization to mind that in 10 years I am going to be 40 and even less able to lose weight and be healthy. I am extremely fearful of dying of a heart attack in my late 40's or 50's. Heart disease runs in my family, especially in women, and that being the number one killer of women causes me to worry. I have extreme amounts of stress in my daily life....loading and unloading kids in my 15 passenger van, ages 1-7 (10-11 of them) is more stressful than you can imagine. My body and spirit can't take it much more. I feel my heart racing and I just imagine one of these days it bursting. Not healthy. On top of that stress I don't get nearly as much sleep as I should, which is another risk factor for heart attack. In addition to both of these things, people with larger middles are also at higher risks for heart attack because it causes greater strain on the heart. See where I'm going with this?? So fearful of my life being cut short by such a horrible health problem, I have determined to try and be as proactive as I can. I'm going to make an appointment for a full physical and lose weight and eat better to lower cholesterol and get fit.
You are probably thinking that these are many people's goals, but I feel so fearful of my future health risks that it spurs me on and motivates me to keep pushing myself. So this week, after watching a documentary about heart risks and problems, I started logging my food and trying to estimate my old Weight Watchers points. I figured even if I can't afford to do the program, I have all the information from when I did it after having Judd that I can at least estimate and that would be better than doing nothing at all. Then tonight I pushed myself even further. With my Christmas money I had bought three workout dvds. Biggest Loser Cardio Max, Biggest Loser BootCamp DVD, and Jillian Michaels 30 Minute Shred.
*Side story*...With each consecutive pregnancy my abdominal muscles got more and more separated until they permanently separated. This is technically a muscle tissue injury and I literally have NO abdominal muscle left. This is partly why I look six months pregnant all the time. Nothing is holding my belly in. It's called a Diastasis Closure. Because my abdominal muscles are so weak, it is the cause of all my lower back trouble and my back going out (to the point that I am laid up in bed for 3 days straight on muscle relaxers). So due to these issues I started going to a Physical Therapist once a month. She taught me a bunch of moves but said whatever you do, don't do situps or crunches, etc. cause that causes it to re-separate. So I can only do the exercises she gave me to do for now until this problem hopefully heals. Which takes a super long time! So in my workout videos I cannot do the specific abdominal workouts. I can do knee lifts and that sort of thing, but not getting on the floor doing crunches, etc.
(On with the story). So tonight I tried to do my Jillian Michaels video, but she has a whole segment of ab workouts, so I turned that one off and pulled out my Biggest Loser Cardio Max. I did the warm up, Level 1, and cool down, for a total of 30 minutes. I did the WHOLE thing and am already so sore I couldn't walk up my basement steps. But I feel good. I love that work out soreness, so I'm not complaining. Hopefully if I can keep it up I will notice big changes very soon. They say heavier people lose more weight initially...so here's hoping. My oldest sister is getting married probably in early November, so that gives me a 9 month deadline to lose as much weight as possible to look good. I don't want to be the fat sister standing up there. So follow my journey of weight loss cause I am back on track and feeling good. I will have ups and downs, but am hoping to lose at least 30-50 pounds by then if not more! So say prayers and think positive motivating thoughts for me! I want so badly to do this.
So here we go!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Soda Diaries
Oh Soda how I love thee. You fulfill my thristy needs. You have always been there when I needed you. Even when three years ago I switched to Diet and a year and a half a go I switched to Caffeine free Diet. You must have known this was coming. I have been wanting to quit you for so long, but your control over me was too great. I was weaning myself off the calories then off the caffeine but still couldn't go a day without drinking at least 4 of you. UNTIL NOW! I am stronger now. I can do this. You are no good for me, except on an occasional out to dinner type of night for a treat, but no more. Don't come knocking on my door. I have made a deal with my oldest son and he is more important then you. Raymond has been motivating me for a few months now, keeping tabs on how many I drank. Now Owen and I have made a deal. No more soda for me and no more sucking thumb for him. Sounds fair. Both are just as addictive.
I vow to not be a hypocrite. I have told my children for so long now that they are not allowed soda because it is bad for them and kids don't need soda. Even when all my daycare kids and their school friends tell me they drink soda all the time, I am always disgusted that kids are drinking soda. I hate seeing a kid with a can of soda in their hand when we are out and about. I hate it so much for my kids, but haven't had the guts to quit it myself. Until now! I am empowered. Yesterday was day one of mine and Owen's agreement and I have succeeded. It started out as running out of soda in the house and I ran with it. Even when Tony brought home a 24 pack of his favorite soda yesterday I had no desire to drink it. I am totally motivated to succeed because I do not want to be a failure to my kids or myself!
So soda I say to you....good day!
I vow to not be a hypocrite. I have told my children for so long now that they are not allowed soda because it is bad for them and kids don't need soda. Even when all my daycare kids and their school friends tell me they drink soda all the time, I am always disgusted that kids are drinking soda. I hate seeing a kid with a can of soda in their hand when we are out and about. I hate it so much for my kids, but haven't had the guts to quit it myself. Until now! I am empowered. Yesterday was day one of mine and Owen's agreement and I have succeeded. It started out as running out of soda in the house and I ran with it. Even when Tony brought home a 24 pack of his favorite soda yesterday I had no desire to drink it. I am totally motivated to succeed because I do not want to be a failure to my kids or myself!
So soda I say to you....good day!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A quickie.
I know I haven't been on here in awhile. Life has been crazier than usual. In my free time during the months of November and December I worked part-time at Toys R Us (late nights) in addition to my full-time daycare job and mother of 4 job. So I've either been working or sleeping. My house went to shambles and then we had the holidays. But hopefully I'll be back here next week to give you a much better post. Until then however I want to tell you what I did!!
The bad news first. Always start with the ripping of the band aid. I have had no self-control in the eating department and I have been so tired I have not been active at all outside of working. So with that combination I've gained about 5 pounds (not to mention all the holiday treats).But now the ointment to heal that horrible wound. With some of my Christmas money I have bought the Biggest Loser Cardio Blast video, Biggest Loser Bootcamp video and Jillian's 30 minute Fat Buster video. I am very excited to get those and start using them. Hopefully it will be the turn around I need. To date I now weigh as much as I did 9 months pregnant with Tess. That is a horrible statistic and I am determined to change it! Keep me in your thoughts.
Better post next time I promise!
The bad news first. Always start with the ripping of the band aid. I have had no self-control in the eating department and I have been so tired I have not been active at all outside of working. So with that combination I've gained about 5 pounds (not to mention all the holiday treats).But now the ointment to heal that horrible wound. With some of my Christmas money I have bought the Biggest Loser Cardio Blast video, Biggest Loser Bootcamp video and Jillian's 30 minute Fat Buster video. I am very excited to get those and start using them. Hopefully it will be the turn around I need. To date I now weigh as much as I did 9 months pregnant with Tess. That is a horrible statistic and I am determined to change it! Keep me in your thoughts.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder!!
Before I get to the subject at hand, I just wanted to say two things! First, Tony and I just had to take out a loan from his 401K this last week because we were so behind in bills. We still had a few bills from Sept. due plus all of Oct. and now Nov. Life has been VERY stressful to say the least. But even as I sit here at 12:40am writing on my blog instead of sleeping, I feel relieved. For the last two hours or more I balanced the checkbook and wrote out bills that paid off all of Sept. and Oct. bills and most of Nov. It is only the 7th of the month (I guess technically the 8th now), and I only have 4 or 5 bills left for the month! Yay, maybe we can actually get caught up and ahead of bills instead of sadly behind. So this my friends makes me feel VERY happy at this early morning hour.
Secondly, because of said financial trouble and now the news that two of my daycare kids are leaving on the 19th which leaves a vacancy in finances (!!!!), I went and got a part-time job at Toys R Us for the holiday season. It was supposed to give us EXTRA finances but instead it will supplement what I will be losing with those two daycare kids (unless I get new kids, but not getting any seekers at the moment). Today I finished my first night of training and actually am very excited for working out of the house and in a fun environment. PLUS, I get a 10% discount and can "shop" for gifts for my kids while I am working. There is potential to stay on part-time even after the Holiday season, so we will see how it goes. On a side note, I am also applying for a part time job at the church where I can work mostly from home as an Outreach Person. They got a grant to hire someone and I'd be working directly with the Pastor and the Church Secretary and that would be cool. Plus I have prayed very hard about it and feel that God is pulling me in that direction, so I am going to fill out an application and see what happens. That position wouldn't start until Jan. 1, but the idea of being involved in the Church at a deeper level, gets me very excited! So pray for me too.
Ok....on to the thoughts at hand. Since most of my readers are women I am guessing, you should know immediately what the title of this post should mean. If you don't then you have never watched the blessed movie 'Beaches' and therefore might not be a real woman after all. Shame on you. Again back to my financial troubles as of late...
About a month and a half ago I was minding my business when suddenly I felt this sharp poke under my armpit. I reached into my armpit to find that the underwire of my nursing bra (spit angrily at the thought of this type of bra because with four kids I have yet to find one that lasts or is comfortable) had poked through the top and was now stabbing me painfully in the armpit. The best I could do was slide it back into the hole because I didn't have money to buy a new bra. So since that time I have gotten in that habit of sliding the underwire back into the bra because for almost two months I have NOT had the money to buy myself a new bra. But I had had it with the poking and now it was worse cause the hole had stretched out and was harder to stay put. So I found a small safety pin to try and pin the hole closed (worked for about half a day). So now I have a holey, safety pinned bra.
Then on Friday I couldn't stand it anymore (if you haven't noticed I only have one nursing bra left - this is why it is so perturbing), and swore I was going to get a new one when Tony got paid on Friday. So I went about my business and went to dinner with a friend at Olive Garden. Nearing the end of dinner I reached down to get my cell phone to see if Tony had called and I felt this pinch under the OTHER side of my bra. This time I quickly learned that the underwire on the other side of the bra had snapped in half. That meant I absolutely with out a doubt had to buy a new bra the very next day. So now I had a holey, safety pinned and broken underwire bra. What a sad state of affairs! The things us women do to support our families. If I didn't have size 42 DD bra at the moment and wouldn't scare half of the world with my flapping boobs sticking to my stomach, then I would have said to heck with it and thrown it to the wind and let it all hang out. BUT I thought that'd be a bit too much for the world. :)
So I am happy to announce that on Saturday I finally bought myself two new nursing bras that are semi-comfortable, but I am comforted by the thought that Tess will be 10 months old this Friday and I never nurse my kids past 12 months, so hopefully these bras will last these last two months. Don't get me wrong, breastfeeding has been one of my favorite moments of parenthood with each of my children and I am pro-breastfeeding all the way. I would have NEVER done it any other way. But now that I am done with babies and Tess is so close to the end of this stage of her life, I am excited for our new adventures where I am not tied down to a nursing kiddo and I can actually leave all four of my kids somewhere for more than a few hours at a time.
But ladies, I lift my glass high to each of you brave women that put on a bra everyday just to be miserable and uncomfortable for the sake of humanity. You are truly brave women!
Secondly, because of said financial trouble and now the news that two of my daycare kids are leaving on the 19th which leaves a vacancy in finances (!!!!), I went and got a part-time job at Toys R Us for the holiday season. It was supposed to give us EXTRA finances but instead it will supplement what I will be losing with those two daycare kids (unless I get new kids, but not getting any seekers at the moment). Today I finished my first night of training and actually am very excited for working out of the house and in a fun environment. PLUS, I get a 10% discount and can "shop" for gifts for my kids while I am working. There is potential to stay on part-time even after the Holiday season, so we will see how it goes. On a side note, I am also applying for a part time job at the church where I can work mostly from home as an Outreach Person. They got a grant to hire someone and I'd be working directly with the Pastor and the Church Secretary and that would be cool. Plus I have prayed very hard about it and feel that God is pulling me in that direction, so I am going to fill out an application and see what happens. That position wouldn't start until Jan. 1, but the idea of being involved in the Church at a deeper level, gets me very excited! So pray for me too.
Ok....on to the thoughts at hand. Since most of my readers are women I am guessing, you should know immediately what the title of this post should mean. If you don't then you have never watched the blessed movie 'Beaches' and therefore might not be a real woman after all. Shame on you. Again back to my financial troubles as of late...
About a month and a half ago I was minding my business when suddenly I felt this sharp poke under my armpit. I reached into my armpit to find that the underwire of my nursing bra (spit angrily at the thought of this type of bra because with four kids I have yet to find one that lasts or is comfortable) had poked through the top and was now stabbing me painfully in the armpit. The best I could do was slide it back into the hole because I didn't have money to buy a new bra. So since that time I have gotten in that habit of sliding the underwire back into the bra because for almost two months I have NOT had the money to buy myself a new bra. But I had had it with the poking and now it was worse cause the hole had stretched out and was harder to stay put. So I found a small safety pin to try and pin the hole closed (worked for about half a day). So now I have a holey, safety pinned bra.
Then on Friday I couldn't stand it anymore (if you haven't noticed I only have one nursing bra left - this is why it is so perturbing), and swore I was going to get a new one when Tony got paid on Friday. So I went about my business and went to dinner with a friend at Olive Garden. Nearing the end of dinner I reached down to get my cell phone to see if Tony had called and I felt this pinch under the OTHER side of my bra. This time I quickly learned that the underwire on the other side of the bra had snapped in half. That meant I absolutely with out a doubt had to buy a new bra the very next day. So now I had a holey, safety pinned and broken underwire bra. What a sad state of affairs! The things us women do to support our families. If I didn't have size 42 DD bra at the moment and wouldn't scare half of the world with my flapping boobs sticking to my stomach, then I would have said to heck with it and thrown it to the wind and let it all hang out. BUT I thought that'd be a bit too much for the world. :)
So I am happy to announce that on Saturday I finally bought myself two new nursing bras that are semi-comfortable, but I am comforted by the thought that Tess will be 10 months old this Friday and I never nurse my kids past 12 months, so hopefully these bras will last these last two months. Don't get me wrong, breastfeeding has been one of my favorite moments of parenthood with each of my children and I am pro-breastfeeding all the way. I would have NEVER done it any other way. But now that I am done with babies and Tess is so close to the end of this stage of her life, I am excited for our new adventures where I am not tied down to a nursing kiddo and I can actually leave all four of my kids somewhere for more than a few hours at a time.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Oh Motivation...
As of lately since my back is feeling better and I have some Physical Therapy appointments lined up for my back and abdominal muscles, I am feeling more motivated to begin some sort of workout routine. I am hopelessly lost when it comes to the eating aspect of my life right now, because I am having some addiction to chocolate that I am not being able to kick. I have always been a choc-o-holic, but lately it's gotten to a scary point where I almost can't live with out it! I joke that I would bleed chocolate lately, but seriously folks, does that mean I am missing something physically from my body (hormones, chemically imbalanced, stress relief or simply addicted to the lovely taste of chocolate?)
I've decided to put some of the eating habits on the back burner for now, since I am failing in that respect to my weight loss and have decided to switch up what I had originally seen as a common sense way to start...that being to eat healthier first then build up to working out - I now think I will reverse that. I think now that if I start working out then I WILL eat healthier. So we'll see what happens.
When it comes to working out I need a goal though. You'd think just knowing I could be thinner and healthier and happier would be a goal, but I need an actual tangible goal in order to have a sort of deadline. My inspiration for this goal that I am about to tell you about comes from a number of people that I know that have recently been doing it. My sister-in-law, and MANY of my friends and my oldest sister has always done it - run a race!! I know you probably think I am crazy, and I am not talking like a 20 mile race or a sprint or anything of the sort, but a 5K. I'm only in the preliminary moments of this thought process so bear with me, but I don't know where to start! I am seeking help from my oldest sister and from a friend of mine that has been a runner her whole life and is in races all the time. I also found a website that is called from Couch to 5K, and it seems pretty reputable and has a workout program for the very beginner runner to be able to work up to running a 5K! It has really good articles on it too.
My second dilemma is finding time to work out, especially now that it's getting dark out earlier and entering into Winter (however the next few weeks into Nov. seem like a beautiful weather season to start a workout program). I cannot afford a gym membership and have no workout equipment at my home except a pair of dumbells and a exercise ball. Plus I don't know when, that's actually the biggest question! So any help any of you readers could spare, would be AWESOME. The final dilemma is finding a race. I want one soon enough that I have a sort of immediate goal, but also far enough away to train for it. I don't want to rush myself. Maybe early Spring??
I'm very excited about this decision and I really hope I can stick to it. But before I ACTUALLY start, I need to figure out the logistics of how and when to exercise. So help if you can and if not pray for my success and for my motivation to withstand!
Happy Halloween!
I've decided to put some of the eating habits on the back burner for now, since I am failing in that respect to my weight loss and have decided to switch up what I had originally seen as a common sense way to start...that being to eat healthier first then build up to working out - I now think I will reverse that. I think now that if I start working out then I WILL eat healthier. So we'll see what happens.
When it comes to working out I need a goal though. You'd think just knowing I could be thinner and healthier and happier would be a goal, but I need an actual tangible goal in order to have a sort of deadline. My inspiration for this goal that I am about to tell you about comes from a number of people that I know that have recently been doing it. My sister-in-law, and MANY of my friends and my oldest sister has always done it - run a race!! I know you probably think I am crazy, and I am not talking like a 20 mile race or a sprint or anything of the sort, but a 5K. I'm only in the preliminary moments of this thought process so bear with me, but I don't know where to start! I am seeking help from my oldest sister and from a friend of mine that has been a runner her whole life and is in races all the time. I also found a website that is called from Couch to 5K, and it seems pretty reputable and has a workout program for the very beginner runner to be able to work up to running a 5K! It has really good articles on it too.
My second dilemma is finding time to work out, especially now that it's getting dark out earlier and entering into Winter (however the next few weeks into Nov. seem like a beautiful weather season to start a workout program). I cannot afford a gym membership and have no workout equipment at my home except a pair of dumbells and a exercise ball. Plus I don't know when, that's actually the biggest question! So any help any of you readers could spare, would be AWESOME. The final dilemma is finding a race. I want one soon enough that I have a sort of immediate goal, but also far enough away to train for it. I don't want to rush myself. Maybe early Spring??
I'm very excited about this decision and I really hope I can stick to it. But before I ACTUALLY start, I need to figure out the logistics of how and when to exercise. So help if you can and if not pray for my success and for my motivation to withstand!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Family Pictures!
Tonight she posted my pictures on her Photographer Facebook page (Laura Knobbe Photography) and they turned out AWESOME! For her not technically being a professional photographer, she did a great job. The only downfall to the pictures are me. If I weren't in them they'd be even better and it PAINS me to feel that way. I know everyone does this, but when I look at the picture, instead of seeing all the smiles, I see my double chin, and my rolling gut. YUCK! I love two things about myself...my awesome red hair and my bright blue eyes. Everything else I can find to criticize. But besides that fact I am still like a kid on Christmas with my new pictures. I can't wait to pick up the cd from her tomorrow and start getting them printed out! Yay for new pictures. Now if I can only get my back fixed so I can do something about my double chin and rolling gut, this might just be the motivation I need....but I need to be able to walk first!!
But I must say that as overweight as I am and disappointed in myself for getting this way....I could never be upset about the 4 most wonderful things I created! Aren't my kids just gorgeous?!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
what a pain in the back!
So my back went out about a year ago when I was pregnant with Tess, it was SOO painful and incapacitated me. Since then I will get an occasional twinge in my back in that same spot if I've overdone it a bit, but I can usually stretch those muscles, take some Tylenol and it will go away.
Not yesterday though. It had hurt in that spot all morning and felt on the verge of going out and I tried to stretch but it wasn't really helping. I loaded up the van and took kids to school and when I went to load up the 3 two year olds and Tess that I had with me at the preschool to head home my back popped in that spot and I about passed out it was so painful. It took all my energy to shuffle out of the van and shuffle to the drivers door already in tears. A couple of preschool parents asked me if I was ok, and I just said my back was out and I needed to call someone. I got my cell phone (very painfully) and called my mother in law first and asked her to meet me at my house to help me get kids out of the van, then I called Tony to ask him to take his lunch at preschool pick up time to pick up the preschoolers. I finally got myself in the van but drove only about 15 miles per hour slumped over in the drivers side and in tears the whole way home.
Once home it took me over 10 minutes to get out of the drivers side and work my way around the front of the van to open the doors where the kids were. I stood there trying to not move and breathing through my pain until Holly pulled up behind me. She got all the kids unloaded and I got inside where I made the mistake of trying to sit in my computer desk chair. I took a muscle relaxer and sat without moving for about an hour while Holly ran around and took care of the kids. I finally called all the parents to have them pick up their kids earlly and to tell them I had to close the daycare for Tuesday.
Finally Holly got me up to go to the bathroom and then I laid down on the heating pad flat on my bed which felt so much better than sitting up and I stayed there the rest of the night. So that was about 11am-7pm. Finally I got out of bed by myself to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and feed Tess and was back in bed with my 3rd dose of muscle realxer and Tylenol PM and fell asleep. I got up at 7:15 this morning and felt much better and have increasingly felt better all day little by little. Yesterday I literally couldn't physically get myself out of bed and today I could with ease (but slowly and still with the chance of it going back out). So tomorrow the daycare will be open, but am giving myself serious lifting limitations and lots of time to sit down. Please pray that my back heals completely and that I can get into the physical therapist soon to start once a month appts at least to prevent this from happening again. I can't work on my seperated abdominal muscle if I don't get my back fixed first cause right now I can't do situps or any such activity.
So say a prayer for me and remind yourself to be mindful of the way you lift things!!
Not yesterday though. It had hurt in that spot all morning and felt on the verge of going out and I tried to stretch but it wasn't really helping. I loaded up the van and took kids to school and when I went to load up the 3 two year olds and Tess that I had with me at the preschool to head home my back popped in that spot and I about passed out it was so painful. It took all my energy to shuffle out of the van and shuffle to the drivers door already in tears. A couple of preschool parents asked me if I was ok, and I just said my back was out and I needed to call someone. I got my cell phone (very painfully) and called my mother in law first and asked her to meet me at my house to help me get kids out of the van, then I called Tony to ask him to take his lunch at preschool pick up time to pick up the preschoolers. I finally got myself in the van but drove only about 15 miles per hour slumped over in the drivers side and in tears the whole way home.
Once home it took me over 10 minutes to get out of the drivers side and work my way around the front of the van to open the doors where the kids were. I stood there trying to not move and breathing through my pain until Holly pulled up behind me. She got all the kids unloaded and I got inside where I made the mistake of trying to sit in my computer desk chair. I took a muscle relaxer and sat without moving for about an hour while Holly ran around and took care of the kids. I finally called all the parents to have them pick up their kids earlly and to tell them I had to close the daycare for Tuesday.
Finally Holly got me up to go to the bathroom and then I laid down on the heating pad flat on my bed which felt so much better than sitting up and I stayed there the rest of the night. So that was about 11am-7pm. Finally I got out of bed by myself to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and feed Tess and was back in bed with my 3rd dose of muscle realxer and Tylenol PM and fell asleep. I got up at 7:15 this morning and felt much better and have increasingly felt better all day little by little. Yesterday I literally couldn't physically get myself out of bed and today I could with ease (but slowly and still with the chance of it going back out). So tomorrow the daycare will be open, but am giving myself serious lifting limitations and lots of time to sit down. Please pray that my back heals completely and that I can get into the physical therapist soon to start once a month appts at least to prevent this from happening again. I can't work on my seperated abdominal muscle if I don't get my back fixed first cause right now I can't do situps or any such activity.
So say a prayer for me and remind yourself to be mindful of the way you lift things!!
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